Proposal for post-liberal/conservative hermanutics

"Oh crap, Jesus really did seem to say that,.. this ruins everything, we are totally failiors if we follow him. There is no way we can successfully do this amidst the world of sin and make it out alive, much less make it through life respectably. After all, look where all this got Christ. Furthermore, I am a sinful bigot, and the only reason faith does not get me onto a cross like Christ's is that I am a perpetual sinner and I invent ways to deny the cross he gives every chance I get. But our King said to do life this way, so lets go out, lets give it our best shot and fail boldly together! Lord what other choice do we have?"